Oh look...

It's a Sue-generator:

http://www.seventhsanctum.com/generate.php?Genname=hpchar

Samples: This dynamic lady is a Hufflepuff. She has narrow blue eyes that are like two lagoons. Her silky, straight, sand-colored hair is very short and is worn in a dignified, practical style. Her skin is black. She has bushy eyebrows. Her very long wand is detailed, made of poplar, and has a core made of phoenix beak. She has an owl as an animal companion.

This girl is a Ravenclaw, and puts you in mind of a perfect arrow. She has droopy blue eyes that are like two turquoises. Her thick, curly, sand-colored hair is worn in a style that reminds you of a cobra's hood. She is tall and has an angular build. Her skin is china-white. Her unusually long wand is blocky, made of poplar, and has a core made of hippogriff bone.

This compassionate man is a Slytherin. He has hooded gray eyes that are like two silver coins. His silky, straight, sand-colored hair is neck-length and is worn in a weird, attractive style. He has a broad-shouldered build. His skin is cream-colored. His unusually long wand is blocky, made of cherrywood, and has a core made of kelpie bone. He is incompetent when it comes to Transfiguration.

The wand cores (phoenix beak? Kelpie bone? Oh, please)

And the eye-descriptions! Words fail me.