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Dear Grauniad,

it's not that I can't see why you find the story quirky and amusing and generally reminiscent of Father Ted, because I can:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/religion/Story/0,,2204547,00.html

But honestly: while I don't expect you to treat the matter reverently, couldn't you come up with a slightly less lame way of refering to the consecrated wine than holy tipple? Fail.

I suppose, incidentally, this puts paid to the urban myth that priests are exempt from the breathylyser test in Ireland. I suspect that the claims of an Anglican priest of my acquaintance, that Church of England clergy are exempt from the law on speeding if they're going to take a service are similarly mythical. (In case anyone is getting worried, my friend has neither a driving licence or a car, so don't panic about being mown down by a vicar on his way to Evensong....)

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I agree entirely with your assessment. FAIL.
(Also, I don't get the priests' defence that it's important and often unavoidable for them to drink - a point I do understand - because surely what's at stake is whether they're safe to drive. If they are unsafe to drive, it doesn't matter how important or job-related the alcohol consumption was. It's like the defence given by that government minister who was driving whilst on his mobile phone. The defence isn't "it was a very important phone call", the defence should be "it wasn't affecting how safely I was driving")

Same story as reported in the Telegraph: Pettifogging bureaucracy contributes to Catholic persecution or PC Brigade now have sights set on the Church

and in the Times: New Evidence of Drink-Driving Priests Threatens Split in Anglican Communion - Ruth Gledhill reports on the imminent schism.

and in the Times: New Evidence of Drink-Driving Priests Threatens Split in Anglican Communion - Ruth Gledhill reports on the imminent schism.

Sporfle. Probably including what's described as a courageous and principled statement from Peter Akinola.....

"people are sometimes embarrassed by my humility" you know.

Well, quite. What other explanation could there possibly be for them leaving the room in a hurry?

Perhaps the answer is a charitable collection for Father's Taxi Fund?

I wonder would it be OK for the priest to take communion in only one kind if he thinks he may have to drive later in the day? The answer we always got, as baby Catholics, when we asked why laypeople didn't get a go of the wine, was that both body and blood were present in the one kind. Sauce for the goose, sauce for the gander?

Someone has to consume the wine, though - unlike the bread, it can't be reserved AFAIK, and I don't know if the Mass would be valid if you only consecrated the bread. I'm not a canon lawyer, but I suspect not.

Hmm. So maybe the communicant could drink the wine and the priest abstain?

I'm also just giggling over the thought of an exchange like:
"The blood of Christ."
"No, no -- I'm driving."

Heh.

Of course, the celebrant could just use a very small amount of wine if he's the only one recieving in both kinds, I wouldn't have thought that even two masses would then put you over the limit (how much is it in Ireland?) There's actually more of an issue where the congregation is consuming in both kinds, as you have to guess how many of the congregation are actually going to communicate, and the celebrant can end up with quite a lot of wine to finish off. Which is one reason - combined with job related stress - why Anglican priests are warned to be careful about the dangers of alcoholism, it's too easy to get used to drinking more than you think you are.

I think it's still 0.8mg/100ml of blood, same as in the UK, but there's a legislation pending to make it 0.5mg. I wouldn't have thought a couple of sips of wine would breach that, but we love a good kerfuffle, especially when "the politically correct brigade" can be accused of something (like trying to save people's lives, or trivial stuff like that).

but we love a good kerfuffle, especially when "the politically correct brigade" can be accused of something (like trying to save people's lives, or trivial stuff like that).

I think it may be a universal phenomenon...

I'd like to join the politically correct brigade, but I don't know where the recruiting office is...

Frustrating, isn't it? I'm still a bit sad I've not been invited to join any Liberal Conspiracies, either.

That would be an interesting way to die, though. I'd feel sorry for the vicar, of course, unless it were certain he'd be *completely* exonerated and there was film footage of the person leaping out of a hedge or something...

If it were a non-fatal accident - resulting in a broken leg, or something, I could see it as a plot element in a sit-com. Vicar of Dibley, possibly. Though without the film footage it would probably count as dangerous driving, rather than speeding, which would be harder to get out of....

*has sudden vision of Father Jack drinking the Toilet Duck again*

I'm not sure that counts as strictly holy, but yeah....

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