I am not, mind you, suggesting that a scene like this would have improved canon.

[tree_and_leaf]

Inspired by the latest debate about Dumbledore, and JKR's handling of certain character traits.
Harry-centric gen, DH-era, light AU (i.e. one where Harry is slightly sharper on emotions and the like).
Words: 572
Summary: In which Harry wrestles with the problem of young Dumbledore's behaviour, and has a really disturbing idea...



Harry wished he could stop thinking about Dumbledore and Grindelwald, but he couldn’t. It wasn’t just that it was horrible, though it was, but more that it was so puzzling. And it got more so the more he thought about it.

The really weird bit was the letter. Oh, not just Dumbledore’s ideas about taking control of the Muggles, but the whole tone of it. It was… it was like he was wanting approval, wanting Grindelwald to say how clever and daring and clear-sighted he was. And that didn’t seem like Dumbledore at all, who had never bothered about what the Ministry or Skeeter thought about him. It sounded funny to say so, but it was easier to believe in Dumbledore being evil than in him being dependent. It just seemed completely wrong. It was like the time Hermione, who could usually see through people in five seconds, had a crush on Lockhart and wouldn’t admit…

Oh God. Surely not that? An almost physical wave of nausea swept over Harry. But the image of the laughing boys in the photograph came back to him, and he couldn’t push the idea away.

It wasn’t, he told himself firmly, that he thought the idea of Dumbledore being gay was disgusting. To be honest, the idea of any of the teachers fancying anyone made him queasy, but there wasn’t actually anything wrong with boys fancying boys (it was a bit weird and, well, yucky, but it wasn’t wrong wrong). But – fancying Grindelwald? It was like fancying Hitler. Of course, Grindelwald was a lot nicer-looking than Hitler, but that wasn’t much of an excuse. And anyway, liking someone didn’t excuse supporting them in bad things, and it didn’t make it any better…. Did it? No, of course not, that was ridiculous.

And it was still, basically, the most disturbing and disgusting thing Harry had ever thought about, and he wished he could stop thinking about it, but he couldn’t.

Part of him wanted to talk to Hermione, but the other part of him would rather have chopped his own hand off with a blunt penknife, because talking to a girl about something like that… come to think about it, talking to Ron – another subject he didn’t want to think about – might actually have been a lot worse.

Eventually, he plucked up his courage, although he still wasn’t sure where to begin.

“Hermione?”

“What?” said Hermione, looking up from her book.

“Do you think… Do you think Dumbledore might have been, sort of, I don’t know… gay?”

Hermione rolled her eyes. “Of course he was gay, Harry, he wore purple high-heeled boots. Even among wizards, that’s sending a pretty clear signal.”

“Is it? I mean… yeah… I suppose so.”

“I don’t see what it’s got to do with anything, though” said Hermione snappishly, and returned to her reading.

“What I actually meant was… Oh, never mind.” He gave it up as a bad job. Hermione probably never would understand, anyway, and she obviously wasn’t in the mood to be disturbed.

It was only much later that evening, when they had both gone to bed, that a thought that was, in its way, even more disturbing, presented itself to Harry.

“Hermione?” he called.

“What?”

“Um… I haven’t accidentally bought anything that… you know, makes me look gay, have I?”

“No, Harry,” said Hermione in exasperation, “Now go to sleep, or at least worry about something important like the Horcruxes!”

Comments

[trude.livejournal.com]

LOL!
I love Hermione, both in canon and fanon. (At least when she acts like this.)

[tree_and_leaf]

Thank you, and I'm particularly pleased you like the glimpse of Hermione. I love her too, despite her faults.

[mrstater.livejournal.com]

LOL Oh my...

This is all so wrong because now I'm wondering if there was more than friends between Dumbledore and Elphias Doge.

[prelud.livejournal.com]

Icon love!

[tree_and_leaf]

Actually, I don't take the interviews as being canon, although I shamelessly cherry-pick them for my own personal fanon. Dumbledore having a thing for Grindelwald works for me, because like a number of other people, I did think there was something suggestive about the letter. But I don't actually think the revelation is neccessary to the story, which is why I think she was right not to bring it out explicitly.

As far as Doge goes... well, as my friend weymss pointed out, Dumbledore having a crush on Grindelwald doesn't prove he's gay; a lot of people who grow up straight have a phase in (late) adolescence where they fall for a member of the same sex. I think you can call Doge however you like; I certainly felt that what canon gives us is the sort of sentimental friendship with strong but not necessarily consumated or even conscious homoerotic element, which you come across in 19th C literature (for instance) but don't seem to get nowadays, probably because everyone is too conscious of sex to want to talk about feelings for a friend (as opposed to a lover) in that way. My real objection to Doge/ Dumbledore as a long-term thing is that I think that after Ariana's death and so on, Dumbledore would have felt too guilty to be able to tolerate Doge's adoration; I also hope he'd have wanted a more equal relationship, whether or not he ever found one.

[prelud.livejournal.com]

ROFLMAO!!!
Why didn`t I realize it with the first mention of that extravagant suit?

I love Hermione.

[tree_and_leaf]

My sentiments exactly...

And thank you - I'm glad you enjoyed!

[white_hart]

“Of course he was gay, Harry, he wore purple high-heeled boots. Even among wizards, that’s sending a pretty clear signal.”

My snort of laughter at this line ever distracted my husband from the rugby for a moment. Is it OK if I friend you?

[tree_and_leaf]

Thank you, and certainly. Welcome!

[dreamer-marie.livejournal.com]

LOLs even more!

[tree_and_leaf]

Glad you enjoyed!

[owl]

“Um… I haven’t accidentally bought anything that… you know, makes me look gay?”

“No, Harry,” said Hermione in exasperation, “Now go to sleep, or at least worry about something important like the Horcruxes!”

Oh, Harry. So, so clueless. Bless the boy.

[tree_and_leaf]

Yes, poor dear, he really hasn't got a clue.

[tree_and_leaf]

Incidentally, that's a really gorgeous icon.

[snorkackcatcher]

*snort* Good old Hermione, and poor clue-challenged Harry. :)

[tree_and_leaf]

I'm sure Harry will get a clue one of these days. Sometime. Maybe when he's eighty....

[magnolia-mama.livejournal.com]

I came across this while cruising friendsfriends and had to stop and read (and am glad I did). This is my favorite line: “Um… I haven’t accidentally bought anything that… you know, makes me look gay, have I?” Harry to a T, no doubt about it.

[tree_and_leaf]

Thanks - glad you stopped by (and enjoyed it). Also glad you thought I got Harry's voice, as this is one of the first Harry-centric things I've written.

[a-t-rain.livejournal.com]

Hee, love it! Poor clueless Harry!

[tree_and_leaf]

Thanks!

[tunxeh.livejournal.com]

An amusing take on the subject. And Hermione's reaction seems very in-character.

[tree_and_leaf]

Thank you! I can't see Hermione getting excited about something like that....

[azdak.livejournal.com]

ROTFL! The purple boots line is a thing of beauty and a joy forever...

[tree_and_leaf]

:) Thanks - it was pretty much the starting point of the fic.

[juno-magic.livejournal.com]

Seconded!

[tree_and_leaf]

Brilliant icon, btw!

[jesspallas.livejournal.com]

*snort* Bless Harry and Hermione...:)

[tree_and_leaf]

Thank you! I love Harry and Hermione's relationship (though not in a Harmonian sort of way!)

[themolesmother.livejournal.com]

Lovely. And wonderfully in character for both of them. I can just see Hermione rolling her eyes and sighing heavily.

MM

[tree_and_leaf]

Thank you - it was just one of those silly ideas that present themselves on occasion, and don't go away until they're written.

[arwencordelia.livejournal.com]

Brilliant! This is classic Hermione :-)

(Here from genfic_hogwarts, btw)

[tree_and_leaf]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[nineveh-uk.livejournal.com]

I think this does indeed explain why it couldn't show up in canon in any more explicit manner than the existing "And here's this beautiful golden bird of a boy, and Dumbledore is having fantasies about ruling the world with him."

[tree_and_leaf]

I refer you to the title of the post!

[rubynye.livejournal.com]

Ooh, well done. *applauds*

(Here from about.)

[tree_and_leaf]

Thank you!

[keestone.livejournal.com]

Oh, this is brilliant. Ever so funny, and ever so in character.

[tree_and_leaf]

Glad you enjoyed!

Via genfic_hogwarts

[l-j-b.livejournal.com]

"Of course he was gay, Harry, he wore purple high-heeled boots. Even among wizards, that’s sending a pretty clear signal."

This is now my favourite line of ever :D
Fabulous work ;)

Re: Via genfic_hogwarts

[tree_and_leaf]

Thanks, glad it amused you!

[kitttherug.livejournal.com]

hehe.


Hermione rolled her eyes. “Of course he was gay, Harry, he wore purple high-heeled boots. Even among wizards, that’s sending a pretty clear signal.”


Loved that. Harry is there angsting over these new disturbing ideas and Hermione is just like 'of course he was, everyone knows that.' lol

[tree_and_leaf]

Thanks! Hermione wouldn't let something like that phase her for a second, whereas poor old Harry tends to be deploraly slow on the uptake with anything emotional...

[mrsfjl66.livejournal.com]

My friend anna recommended this fic to me. Totally hits the mark. Hermione knows everything in a wonderfully blase way and as usual, Harry is the last to join the party. Brilliant;)