Ahaha! You've missed Jamie Oliver gassing chicks live on the telly, haven't you? And Hugh Fearlessly-Eatsitall weeping as he wrings the neck of a limping bird? The telly has been an education recently; we all know the importance of bales of hay in chicken sheds, and head-count per square metre - free-range chickens are selling out. Extraordinary.

There's a woman who re-homes battery chickens; 60,000 so far, which would have been killed at the end of their first year otherwise. If she's not knighted in the next honours, there'll be a National Outcry.