I don't know what possessed me. Well, actually, I do, it was champagne on an empty stomach, followed by two Gs&T, and it was at least partly her fault for reminiscing about the incident at a previous viva where the external, asking about a fourteenth century text about how Christ suffered more pain on the cross for every sin we commit here and now, got a bit fixated on the bit about noctural emmissions. "You're saying that everytime you have a wet dream, Jesus..."

:"Er - I'm not. The text is.....

At least the kitten-killing thing is obviously a joke (I also then had to explain to various people what a maniple is, which didn't help, although maniples are really very pointless anyway, and I don't actually know any priest who wears one).